Soup Review
I stopped at Walgreens on the way to work to get some hard candy. I realized that having some hard candy around will help me with my oral fixation and my sugar cravings. (Although I do have to be careful; it can be hard to stop eating Werther's Originals. Next time I am going to find the sugar-free coffee candy that my mom has.)

While I was at Walgreens, I impuse-purchased some Campbells "Soup at Hand" Vegetable Medley. Which is weird because I don't like (most) soup. But I figured it is something for two points and would give me something to eat during the day other than Fiber One and grapefruit, my current staples.

Well, drinking chunky soup out of a little spout is weird, and I still don't love the soup (I bet the creamy chicken is good, but I think that was 4 points). But I have to say that I'm not hungry anymore, and I feel as if I've eaten something substantive and relatively healthy for the first time in two days. It's overpriced and pointless, but maybe I will pick up some cans of soup at the store this weekend. Thumbs up I guess!
- posted by mo @ 1:51 PM

 
Slightly Better
I went to Old Navy last night and drowned my woes in clothes shopping. Although I got the wrong size (too small, damnit) jeans, at least today I am wearing a shirt that doesn't make me want to kill myself. Progress, kids. That's progress.
- posted by mo @ 2:59 PM

 
Ill-Fitting
Everything is too big or too small. I feel like I gained seventeen pounds overnight. I feel like I have only two food choices: eat nothing, or eat everything on earth. And I don't even have the hormonal excuse! I don't know what's wrong with me, or even how to explain my feelings. I feel fat, and stuck, and hungry.

I'm having a bad day.
- posted by mo @ 3:00 PM

 
Anecdote
I had a granola bar for breakfast and a chocolate chip fell out, I thought onto the floor. About five minutes ago I discovered that the chocolate chip had in fact fallen down my shirt, landed between my boobs, and melted.

Just thought I'd share.
- posted by mo @ 11:18 AM

 
Good Deed
Click a button on this page to help donate mammograms to underprivileged women. Advertisers will donate the funds based on the number of clicks. Let's give them a boost!
- posted by mo @ 10:14 AM

 
This Is A Poem About Chocolate
CHOCOLATE!

I want you in my mouth
melty and warm
brown and melty and warm
sweet and brown and melty and warm
like a hug
from Snoop Dogg.

THANK YOU!
- posted by mo @ 3:16 PM

 
Weigh-In
Well I weighed in today, "officially" but on my own home scale, at 212 pounds. Woo! I can tell that I am back in the game because I have flashes of looking at myself and seeing that I'm thinner.

This morning was a problem because when I went to tutor this one student, his parents had set up (and already cut up for me) a delicious baked-apple pastry and a bottled Starbucks frappuccino. They did this for me a few weeks ago and I wasn't feeling particularly WW-riffic, so I had the yummy breakfast and thanked them kindly! Now I would feel terribly rude if I didn't eat the breakfast, so I ateit anyway and then will try to watch what I eat for the rest of the day. I don't know a graceful way to turn down their libations. And also I was hungry.

Well, this won't be a problem much longer anyway; I only have two more lessons with the kid.

Oh, and the really cool thing about the 212 is that yesterday at Cheesecake Factory I basically ate everything in the world. We shared eggrolls and cheesecake, I had a lemonade and also an alcoholic lemonade, and my broccoli-and-salmon special came with tartar sauce and French fries. And we were all sharing each other's food, so I had bites of salads and sips of mojitos and generally it was an awesome meal that honestly kept me full for the rest of the day. What I had for dinner? Coffee. And I wasn't even hungry.

So, there you have it. That's the latest. I'll get to 209 (and the magical lowering of my BMI rating) yet!
- posted by mo @ 1:45 PM

 
Best Job Ever
This afternoon, my entire deparment is going to the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate my hiring. (We had it planned a while ago, and then I had to go to Holland, so it was rescheduled.) I'm excited; I really love the Cheesecake Factory! Last time I went I had salmon, which in addition to being delicious, was healthy.

Then in the afternoon, the whole agency is having a party on the roof to celebrate the nice weather. (Or, as the e-mail said, to "console ourselves for having had to spend the week indoors.") The theme off the party is popsicles and beer.

Popsicles and beer.
- posted by mo @ 11:02 AM

 
Not the Perfect Fit
I thought of just saying that I have big grapefruits, but then I thought that might come out a little weird. They are huge though! I bought them last night for $1.29 each, because they smelled so much better than the .79 cent ones and were twice as big.

As big as these are, I still don't understand how someone can eat half of one. I can't stop at half, I have to have the whole grapefruit. In fact today I've had two huge grapefruits.

In other news, yesterday I was wearing a shirt that is too big for me, and it made me very uncomfortable and frumpy-feeling; I like the shirt and all, but it went in the "get rid of" pile as soon as I got home. Today I am doing sort of the opposite, wearing a very tight shirt. (My official Books & Pie club T-shirt, with a picture of the Poky Little Puppy on the front.)

It's a little too tight for me still, which means that my fat rolls are on full display to the world. And of course then I realized, who the hell is really walking around judging my fat rolls? If they are, then they are the assholes, not me, so who cares?

I like my T-shirt and think its cute, fat rolls or no fat rolls. Plus, the fat rolls are getting smaller. And probably nobody notices them anyway, what with the huge, um, grapefruits and whatnot.

[Edited to clarify: I absolutely do not feel guilty about eating grapefruit. In fact, I think "half a grapefruit" cannot possibly be a real portion. Grapefruit is gratefruit. Yum.]
- posted by mo @ 2:50 PM

 
Close Call
Yesterday was going very well, according to plan, until the mid-afternoon when I decided to have "just one or two" Girl Scout cookies: Samoas. Now cookies, as you may know, are my nemesis. If I eat one, nine times out of ten I will end up eating the whole package! I had four cookies (and that's worse than it sounds, because they are probably 1.5 points each) and I was very happy to go home and get away from them or I might have eaten more!

I then got very hungry at night, and so I made myself the lowest point dinner I could think of: a scrambled egg beater for one point, and some pickle spears wrapped in Healthy Choice turkey deli slices, also one point. Then I had a Skinny Cow for dessert. A four-point dinner! Made up of things I already had in my kitchen! Victory!

It was all I could do not to keep snacking at night, but I managed it! There were a lot of challenging moments yesterday. In the end, I was probably at 24 or 25 points for the day, under my 26-point allotment. Phew!

Today has been going according to plan, also. I had my usual coffee in the morning, then a grapefruit, a cup of Fiber One with milk, and a banana. (I estimate the points values for the above as 2, 1, 2, 2. The grapefruit might be a little more; the coffee was definitely a little less. It balances.)

And as a reward, I am wearing a tank top in the office (actually two tank tops layered over each other, since my black tank top likes me to be naked, and it seems that might be inappropriate office attire) and I don't feel self-conscious. In fact, I have the skinny feeling! Even the bathroom mirror doesn't hate me today!

I just have to stay out of that bottom drawer. There are Girl Scout cookies in there, waiting for me, plotting their caramel-coconut-chocolate revenge.

- posted by mo @ 12:44 PM

 
Momentum
I weighed myself for real this weekend, thinking that I was getting close to the number in the sidebar again. You see, I had gained 3-4 pounds, and until this week, those 3-4 pounds seemed to be permanent fixtures on my "I'm taking a break" unmotivated body.

Excitingly, when I weighed myself (expecting 214 or so) I was in fact back to 213. The cutting-down-on-carbs plan (in concert with the modified Wendie plan) worked wonders this week! I must have lost those 3-4 pounds in one week.

Next week I am going to weigh myself again, and so I am going to try to keep it going. I ate a lot of (delicious) food at a dinner party last night, so that will be my "high" day. I am going to try to come in at 20-22 points today. (When I do the Wendie plan, my "low" days are very low.) Then I'll have two moderate-low days, probably.

I am excited to think that I could get below 213 for real this week, and have it stick. I'd like to be a little closer to that magical 200 mark, that's for sure!
- posted by mo @ 9:11 AM

 
Salad Days
I've been to lots of places around here on my lunch break, but the best is Max's. Whenever my friend J. suggests that we walk down there, it doesn't take long to convince me. Their big salads are delicious, so filling and satisfying. I get the hot roasted turkey breast on top, and it's a great source of protein. So much better than a box lunch.

But I feel vaguely guilty, too, because I'm not sure of the points, or how many points to estimate. It seems absurd to feel guilty about something that is so good, and so good for me, too. (I even have to walk up a steep hill to get it.) But maybe I can list what's in it, and you can tell me how many points you would estimate.

First there's lots of greens, then grape tomatoes and lightly marinaded mushrooms. Corn and onion. Cranberries (which are a new addition, and they put this salad into a whole new realm of yummyness). Today I got avocado, but I usually skip it. And then some (a good amount of) roasted turkey breast, and that's it! No cheese, no croutons, no bacon.

I always get raspberry vinaigrette on the side, and I put quite a bit of it on the salad, I must admit. I wonder if I should bring my own dressing. It tastes far too good to be low in points! On the other hand, it's vinaigrette. Even at its worst, a couple of tablespoons can't be that bad, right? And it is so good. It would pain me to give it up.

So what would your estimate be? I usually estimate 5 (3 for the turkey, 2 for the dressing). Today I estimated 7, because of the avocado. You think that's too low?
- posted by mo @ 12:57 PM

 
Ha!
The Onion cracks me up.
- posted by mo @ 1:51 PM

 
Greatfruit, Etc.
I forgot how much I like grapefruit. I'm going to have to go buy some more! But what I really wanted to say was: Any diet plan that tells you that you can have half a grapefruit is no diet that I ever want to be on. That is one stingy-ass diet, right there. (Fat flush plan, I am looking at you.)

Yesterday, I think I was over points for the day, but not by much. You see, we have birthday celebrations occasionally in the office, and one of them was yesterday. I'd spent the whole day visualizing walking out of the conference room and not eating any cake. What I hadn't counted on was that there would be no cake. There would be "an assortment of pie." Pie.

So I had a (small) piece of (apple) pie. That, plus the sushi for dinner, put me over points somewhat. But that's okay because I was so far under points yesterday, and I will be under points again today.

I find myself really relishing the protein that I am eating. I haven't replaced all carbs with protein; I am still doing points and not Atkins or anything. But I think my body did need more protein, which is why it satisfies me and sustains me so well. I am sleeping a lot more, which is sort of weird, but other than that I feel great!

And! I have this weekend off. And! I am going to go get Britney tuned up on Saturday and then go for a bike ride. I am looking very forward.
- posted by mo @ 1:08 PM

 
P.S. I'm Not a Total Loser...
... I'm going to be in a book!
- posted by mo @ 1:03 PM

 
Recipe Request
There's a new entry up, about my embarrassing failure as a cook.

I'm putting this post here so people can post recipes if they have them. Something simple, for a beginner, that is relatively fast and cheap, with few points. I'm looking for the basic, staple meals. Please assume that I was raised by wolves and know nothing except how to boil water, and even then, it doesn't always go right.
- posted by mo @ 11:20 AM

 
Quick Link
Just in case you don't know what the Wendie Plan is all about, Put Down the Donut has an article about it today. I don't adhere rigidly to the points numbers on this or anything, but I always lose the most weight on weeks where I do this sort of informally.
- posted by mo @ 11:11 AM

 
One Good Day
My eating plan worked perfectly yesterday. I added up the points at the end of the day, and it was a 20-point day. Very exciting, and a good atonement for the burgers-and-fries-and-Starbucks-garbage that we had on my last day at Starbucks. (Well, we had to celebrate. C'mon.)

The most important thing is that I once again am attentive to what I'm eating. I have two boxes of Samoas in my desk that I didn't touch yesterday. I had an apple for dessert instead of chocolate cake. And at the end of the day, I had a skinny cow ice cream sandwich, now that I have a freezer that can keep the damn things cold.

(How did I not have a kitchen? Well, I rent space in a house, on the bottom floor. The bottom floor doesn't have a kitchen. Now the house is empty, waiting for renters, and I have the top floor, and its kitchen, to myself. When the renters come in, I will already have established myself as the proprieter of one or two cabinets and drawers, and a shelf in the fridge. Voila! Kitchen.)

Anyway, what did I eat yesterday? I skipped the breakfast muffin and had a cappuccino. After that, I had an orange. Then some Fiber One cereal with milk. For lunch a big salad with roasted turkey on top, and an apple, and a Diet Coke. Then I "made" "dinner" which was "salmon" and "asparagus" (more on this in today's entry) and a spinach salad. Then a skinny cow. Woo!

Today I've had a cappuccino already, and I am doing the fruit and cereal thing again. I have a grapefruit and some more Fiber One. (Please note that I realized I couldn't give up caffeine just yet. You have to choose your battles, I guess. At least my cappuccinos are half-caf.)
- posted by mo @ 8:57 AM

 
New Week
Okay, okay, I'm not going to do anything crazy to my liver.

What I am doing for this week (as a kick-start, which I desperately need) is cutting out breads and sugar as much as possible. I'm going to have fruit for breakfast instead of a muffin; I'm going to have salads with lean protein for lunch, and then for dinner maybe I will do the omelet that the fat flush program recommends: two eggs (I will use egg beaters, probably) and mushrooms and other veggies.

The problem is that I didn't get a chance to go grocery shopping this weekend. I think I will be okay for the day, but I'm going to have to go shopping when I get home. Excitingly, I'll be able to take over some space in the kitchen-- essentially, I will have a kitchen for the first time in three years. I'm not sure exactly what some good low-point staples will be for my pantry. Give me some ideas what to add to my shopping list, please!

So far my list is: a frying pan, a pot of some type, whole wheat pasta, and frozen veggies. And Skinny Cow ice cream sammiches. Oh, and olive oil. I should probably get some spices and herbs, and experiment with them! Rosemary? Basil?

Check it out, me, cooking, for the first time ever. This will be fun!

I hope!
- posted by mo @ 11:58 AM