You know I love Mr. Rogers, but I had to hide in the back and let somebody else take that guy's order, because I was laughing way too hard to do it.

Speaking of work, we have this really bizarre promotional sign for the new Toffee Nut Latte. If you ever go to Starbucks, you should check it out. It's a guy holding a latte in one hand and playing with an incredibly ugly dog. The copy seems to suggest that if you buy a Toffee Nut Latte, your ugly dog will love you. I'm not kidding; it's very confusing.

And so we call it the Ugly Dog Latte, and grope for understanding.

I think "The Killing Moon" by Echo and the Bunnymen is my favorite song right now. I keep listening to it over and over and over. You may remember it from Donnie Darko. (If not, go rent Donnie Darko.)

I got an email regarding caps and gowns and whatnot. As it turns out, my graduation ceremony is happening at the end of May. I am staying in San Francisco at least that long. I think my parents will have aneurysms if they can't watch me walk down some type of aisle and accept my fifty thousand dollar piece of paper.

I can't seem to get a good picture of this, but the latest experiment involved some type of flip at the end done with curlers. I'm a fifties housewife.

I call it my maxi-pad hair. It has wings!

Last night, I went out with some of my more debauched friends (that would be Jenfu, Chauffi and Weetabix) for food, wine, inappropriate touching, and karaoke. As opposed to last week, when I rocked the mic, I did possibly the worst karaoke of my life. But it was only because my throat was hoarse from laughing! (Yes, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.) I will add to the collection of quotes:

"Would you like to try my delicious meatloaf?"

"Thank you for letting me touch your boobs!"

"Do you want to taste it with the hair?"

"They are so making out right now."

Most of the night has become a drunken blur in my memory. But I do remember what happened when the KJ said, "and coming up next, 'The Rose.'" We all paused and looked at each other with horrified faces. Then, as one, we got up and walked out the door.

The new experiment is called "embrace the mushroom." By making my hair look as mushroom-like as possible, I am owning the mushroom in an empowering, attractifying way. Or something.

See, this is why I need a digital camera.

It's been difficult to write lately, mainly because of the large looming question mark that is my life. I don't know how to answer questions about the future. I am not sure where I should be, or what I should be doing. I think that I am waiting for a sign from the universe, a path to open up before me, or some indication that I belong somewhere...

I am slightly crippled with doubt and terror right now. Is the truth of the matter. I can't write, I can't think, I can't act. I feel like my life is happening underwater, and I'm not wearing contact lenses, and everything is very fuzzy. (At least I can still dredge up weird metaphors when required. That's certainly something.)

I was telling Joey that I've been vacillating on the whole Los Angeles issue. Sometimes it seems like a great idea, and sometimes it seems all wrong.

I feel like I will know more in April, when I am going home for a visit. My instincts are telling me to wait until then. As soon as I get there, I will be able to tell if the mothership is calling me home.

I went for a long bike ride yesterday, the gorgeous Point Isabel bike ride along the bay. The weather was, once again, perfect. I listened to a mix CD that Trish sent for Christmas, and it matched my mood perfectly. Or perhaps determined my mood. Who can say?

After six miles or so, I flopped down on an invitingly picturesque patch of soft grass and closed my eyes. I felt the sun on my sore muscles. I heard the waves lapping against the rocks, the birds calling each other, the guy playing with his dog in the water. I smelled that wonderful salt-water smell, the smell that reminds me of everything good, and young, and eternal.

And for a time, I rested in the grace of the world, and was free.